Anal Sex 101: Frequently Asked Questions

Yes, taking the time to get comfortable in your own way and at your own pace will help you discover where your boundaries and pleasure are which will help you communicate these to your partner. Use a generous amount of lubricant to reduce friction and discomfort, begin with external stimulation, and gradually progress to penetration. Experiment with toys as these can be helpful for exploration and stretching gradually over time.

Douching, or rinsing the rectum with water, is a personal preference and not necessary for anal sex. If you decide to douche, use lukewarm water and a specialized anal douche bulb or enema kit. Avoid using harsh soaps or chemicals, as they can be irritating.

Douching can disrupt the natural balance of bacteria in the rectum and may cause irritation or discomfort. So we do not recommend it.

We recommend washing the anal area with mild soap and water to reduce the risk of bacterial transfer. While not always necessary, some individuals prefer to shower or bathe before engaging in anal sex to feel clean and fresh.

Contrary to public assumptions doggy style is not the best starter for a newbie. Doggy is the most "known" for anal, but not necessarily the easiest or gentlest. The angle for entry is harsh at a direct right angle, and it eventually leads to very deep penetration which can cause discomfort for a newbie.

We recommend:

• Missionary with a pillow placed under the receiver's hips. This can help create a more comfortable angle for penetration and slow down the depth and pace.
• Spooning with the receiver as the little spoon can allow for intimate contact and may feel more comfortable for beginners due to its gentle angle of penetration.
• Riding where the receiver straddles the penetrating partner, the receiver in this position has complete control over the depth and pace of penetration.

Yes, we list them below. These are intended as exercises, so they do not need to be done during anal sex play, you can do these whenever you like. Think of them as your anal workouts.

• Sphincter Control Exercises: Practice contracting and relaxing the anal sphincter muscles voluntarily to improve control and coordination. Try to do 10-20 squeezes. This can help with relaxation and control during anal penetration.
• Anal Stretching: Using anal plugs or toys of gradually increasing size can help stretch and prepare the anal muscles for penetration. Use them for 10-15mins.
• Kegel Exercises: Contract and relax the muscles of the pelvic floor, think belly button to booty hole. Repeat 10-15 times. This can help improve overall pelvic muscle tone and control.
• Perineum Massage: the squishy area between the booty and the genitals when massaged, can help promote relaxation and increase blood flow to the pelvic region. This can help reduce tension and discomfort during anal play.
• Anal Dilation Techniques: Start with one finger (well lubricated) or a small dilator and gradually increase the size as tolerated. This can help gently stretch and relax the anal muscles over time.

CBD suppositories can provide several benefits for anal play:

• Relax Muscles: CBD has calming properties that can help relax the anal muscles, reducing discomfort and tension.
• Pain Relief: CBD may alleviate pain and inflammation, making anal play more comfortable.
• Enhanced Pleasure: Some individuals report increased sensitivity and arousal with CBD suppositories.
• Healing: CBD's potential anti-inflammatory effects may aid in the healing of minor anal injuries or irritation.

It is important to note that CBD should not be used as a substitute for medical treatment or advice, and anyone with concerns about their sexual health or function should consult a healthcare professional.

CBD suppositories can be used before engaging in anal play to prepare the body and enhance relaxation. They can also be used afterward to soothe any discomfort or inflammation. We designed Mello Bottoms, as a holistic alternative to Poppers, to decrease discomfort from anal penetration and increase pleasure. 

Anal sex can be a rewarding and pleasurable experience when approached with knowledge, communication, and care. By practicing safe sex to prevent STI's, using lubrication to prevent friction and tearing, and considering options like CBD suppositories, you can explore anal play in a way that prioritizes safety and comfort. When practiced correctly, anal sex can be safe and pleasurable. However, it's essential to take precautions to minimize risks.

1. Initiate the conversation outside of the bedroom. Avoid bringing up the subject during intimacy, this can lead to one partner feeling pressured to participate.
2. Express your desires through curiosity and without judgment: You might say something like, "I've been curious about trying anal sex, and I wanted to talk to you about it."
3. Listen to their response and let them share their thoughts, feelings, and concerns.
4. Allow them time to do their own research and table the conversation resolution for another time.
5. If and Only if they wish to try it too, then talk openly about your boundaries and limits regarding anal sex, and encourage your partner to do the same.
6. Make it clear that either partner can withdraw consent at any time
7. Plan and prep how you can prepare together, establish safety protocols, and ensure mutual comfort and pleasure.

Anal penetration is not necessary for anal orgasms. External stimulation, alone, can be equally enjoyable and intimate. You can kiss, lick, and massage the external area and perineum and leave it there.

NO. The muscles of the pelvic floor, including the anal sphincter muscles, are designed to stretch. These muscles are capable of stretching to accommodate the variations of bowel movements we experience and so can also stretch to allow sexual activity. They do return to their resting state after stretching.

With regular anal penetration, the anal muscles may become more flexible, but they do not permanently stretch. They can become fatigued or overworked during vigorous anal sex, which may result in temporary weakness and a feeling as though they are 'looser' but this should last only for a short period after sexual activity.

Practicing regular Kegels or Sphincter Control exercises can help maintain anal sphincter muscle function and integrity.

But there is minimal risk and more myths about anal prolapse (when your pelvic muscles weaken and cause organs to slip down) to happen during a lifetime.

Engaging in anal sex can sometimes result in awkward sounds and discharge, which may lead to changes in bowel movements. While this is true, it's important to understand why it happens and to distinguish between what is normal and what may require attention.

Temporary Changes: Additional gas, looser stools, or some discharge of lubrication of seminal fluid is normal. This can be due to stimulation of the rectum and pelvic floor muscles during penetration or if you are not using a condom. A vigorous or consensually rough experience can temporarily decrease muscle strength, which could affect bowel control immediately after sexual activity.

Longer-Term Changes: Only STI's. So watch your discharge, if you continue to experience an unusual discharge for more than 3-5 days after activity, it is important to talk to your health practitioner (see below: various causes of discharge). Bacterial contamination can occur and is usually the most common, which does clear on its own. 

If you experience persistent or concerning changes in bowel habits after anal sex it is important to consult with a healthcare professional if you have any concerns or questions.

Engaging in anal sex or play can sometimes lead to changes in anal discharge, particularly if there is irritation or trauma to the anal tissues. We list them below:

Bacterial Contamination: We recommend washing the anal area before and after anal sex, to help reduce the risk of bacterial contamination. Using harsh soaps, or over douching can disrupt the natural balance of bacteria in the anal region, potentially leading to changes in discharge.

Friction and Trauma: Rough or vigorous anal penetration without sufficient lubrication can cause micro-tears or abrasions in the delicate anal tissues, leading to increased mucus production and discharge as the body attempts to heal.

Infections: Anal sex, especially without protection (condoms), can increase the risk of contracting STIs, which may cause changes in anal discharge. Certain STIs, such as gonorrhea or chlamydia, can lead to increased discharge from the anus.

Allergic Reactions: Some individuals may experience allergic reactions to lubricants, condoms, or other products used during anal sex, leading to irritation, inflammation, and changes in anal discharge.

The anus does not produce natural lubrication during arousal, so using lubricant is essential to reduce friction and prevent injuries such as tears, abrasions, or hemorrhoids.

The anal area is more susceptible to bacterial infections due to its proximity to the rectum and fecal matter. Using condoms and practicing good hygiene can help reduce the risk of infections. We recommend washing the area before and after, to help reduce the risk.

NO, pregnancy cannot occur from anal sex alone. However, there is a risk of pregnancy if ejaculate comes into contact with the vaginal opening.

Rough or vigorous anal sex can potentially exacerbate existing hemorrhoids or contribute to the development of anal fissures or fistulas. Gentle and careful penetration, along with adequate lubrication, can help minimize these risks.

There is an increased risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) if proper precautions are not taken.